This article is part of our East Coast Offense series.
East Coast Offense
By Christopher Liss
RotoWire Managing Editor
All Overrated Team
My car's in the shop yet again - this time because some valve blew, and they want $600* to fix it. This after I had to replace an engine coil three months ago for $500. And that two weeks after the transmission started slipping. That would have cost me five grand, but it was only four months out of warranty, and I had just 40,000 miles on the car. And I bitched and wrote letters until Audi relented. But if I could go back to last February and not buy the car after my lease expired, I surely would.
I also would have bet the Rockies to win the NL Pennant and bought lots of stock in RIMM, but that's besides the point. My car's put me in the mood to talk about things we paid too much for.
*That was the original estimate as of Monday, but I got them down to $320 including the $89 service and $200 replacement of brake pads thanks to a fantastic customer care rep on Tuesday.
QB: Vince Young - I only have him in half my leagues, thankfully - apparently other people were willing to take him in the fifth round, too. It's not entirely his fault, though - Norm Chow and Jeff Fisher have made abysmal use of his talent, and it'll probably cost Tennessee a playoff berth. A good example was in overtime Sunday when the Titans got the ball deep in their own territory. They ran the ball twice up the middle with slow, fat LenDale White, and he got very little. Then on third and long, they put Young in the shotgun, and he threw an incomplete pass. There was no thought apparently to rolling him out, or not putting him in that spot to begin with. If they wanted a pocket passer, they should have drafted Jay Cutler. And what was so wrong with the Vince Young of last year anyway?
Honorable mention: Philip Rivers
RB: Reggie Bush - I know some backs have done less fantasy-wise, but his hype to performance ratio is off the charts. On Monday Night Football, they showed Bush on the sidelines with his headphones and diamond earrings in both ears (you need to be like Michael Irvin or Deion Sanders to pull that off - the quiet, dignified type should usually dress like a man), and then they showed a graphic that Bush is the second highest paid entertainer/athlete under the age of 25, just behind LeBron James - a rare example of a top prospect who's exceeded the hype. The contrast between Bush and James, to this point, could not be starker.
RB2: Laurence Maroney - I know Larry Johnson, Steven Jackson and Frank Gore were all drafted higher, but at least those guys have an excuse. Maroney was dinged up early, but even since he's been healthy, he hasn't come close to doing what journeyman Sammy Morris did earlier in the year. And at least those other three have shown the ability to stay healthy under a heavy workload at some point in their careers.
Honorable mention: Shaun Alexander
WR1: Chad Johnson - There are plenty of receivers who did worse than him - Marvin Harrison and Javon Walker (injured), Lee Evans and Steve Smith (terrible quarterbacking), but none is as delusional about his ability or as annoying when he scores a touchdown for a losing team. Plus, like last year, it's a rare game when Johnson gets in the end zone - 4-of-16 in 2006 and 3-of-13 in 2007. This for a guy who was the first receiver off the board in a lot of drafts.
WR2: Anquan Boldin - 11.5 yards per catch, one 100-yard game all year and constant nagging injuries. The Cardinals throw the ball 36 times a game (8th), and Boldin hasn't been a regular beneficiary.
WR3: Calvin Johnson - He's built like Terrell Owens, only taller and faster, but he's been a big disappointment even for a rookie receiver. Sure, he was bothered by a back bruise for a few games, but on Thanksgiving, the Lions targeted him a ton, and he had several key drops. Dwayne Bowe has shown better instincts and more of a nose for the ball. At this point, Johnson's probably closer to Matt Jones than Owens. (I know I just touted him in this space last week as an upside playoff guy, and it could still happen this week. But unless and until it happens, he's had a disappointing rookie year for a No. 2 overall pick).
Honorable mention: Vincent Jackson
TE: Jeremy Shockey/Alge Crumpler - Slowing down and hurting, neither player has been a top-10 tight end this year.
K: - Not bothering with kickers.
Defense: Baltimore Ravens - Res Ipsa Loquitur
(That's for Herbst, a lawyer and Ravens fan who frequently comments on RotoWire columns).
Destroying Funston
It's time for Mr. Big Board to get what's coming to him in the Yahoo Friends and Family League this week. Sure his team just scored 144 points last week and is far better than mine offensively, but he hasn't faced the shut-down virtual defense I drafted.
Waiver Wire
Are people still scouring the waiver wire at this late stage? Sam Gado, Aaron Stecker, Pierre Thomas, Garrett Wolfe, Anthony Gonzalez, Darius Walker, Reggie Williams. If you're in the second round of your playoffs, you probably don't need any of these guys, but who knows?
Around the League
- Do the Right Thing
Sometimes game situations require players to do something other than what they've been taught. For example, with the Browns up 17-15 with less than two minutes left, Jamal Lewis burst through the Jets defense for a first down, and instead of kneeling down, he ran all the way into the end zone. This was stupid for three reasons: (1) Because it cost me a win against the spread; (2) Because it gave the weaselly Hollywood agent in my big money league more points and (3) Because it gave the Jets a chance to get the ball back, score and try an onside kick. If Lewis kneels down, the Browns run out the clock. Then again we're talking about a guy who did time for facilitating a drug deal that he didn't even benefit from.
But Lewis wasn't the only one - the Chiefs defense made a boneheaded play at the end of the first half Sunday. With five seconds and one timeout left, the Broncos threw the ball to Brandon Marshall in Chiefs territory, and the Chiefs idiotically tackle him immediately, and the Broncos call a timeout with one second left and kick a field goal. If the Chiefs let Marshall fight for two more yards, and THEN tackle him, the time expires. Somehow, I doubt the field goal mattered much in what turned into a blowout, but players should be aware of the amount of time left on the clock in relation to the game situation.
- "Lord Why Must Thou Test Me So!"
That's what I imagined was going on in Jon Kitna's head while watching Tony Romo engineer the game winning drive against the Cowboys after Jason Hanson missed what would have been a game-sealing field goal. It was the team's fifth straight loss, and it killed any chance for Kitna's 10-win guarantee to come true.
- Why Do Coaches Bother To Punt? Why would the 49ers play even a healthy Trent Dilfer over Shaun Hill?
Do you ever wonder why the Chiefs down 34 in the fourth quarter against the Broncos ever bother to punt? I mean if there's any chance to win, it's surely by converting on every set of downs from that point forward. And if there's no chance to win, then what's the harm in going for it anyway? At least your team gets to run its plays and get in some extra practice in a game situation. The punter can practice on his own.
Why would the Niners play even a healthy Trent Dilfer over Shaun Hill? I could see playing the veteran quarterback in one of two situations: (1) If the team had a remote chance to make the playoffs, or (2) if the coach felt that the No. 2 quarterback provided the fans with a credible product, while the No. 3 would not. But in Dilfer's case (and Alex Smith's before him), the 49ers offense was not a credible product, and of course, they've been out of the playoff hunt since Week 7. Shaun Hill can't but be better than Dilfer or Smith right now, and who knows, quarterbacks come out of nowhere all the time.
- The Colts are Better than the Patriots
Consider that Indy's lost just two games, one in San Diego when they were missing key players, gave up two kick returns for touchdowns, missed two field-goals including a short game-winner and in which Peyton Manning uncharacteristically threw six picks. The other was against the Pats in which the Colts were missing their starting left tackle, Marvin Harrison and No. 3 receiver Anthony Gonzalez, and they were winning until the last few minutes. The loss of Dwight Freeney hurts a lot, but even without Freeney, the Colts are a far better defensive team, and with Gonzalez developing and Harrison due to return, the Pats only have a moderate advantage on offense. The Colts also run the ball better and are more physical, meaning that the Patriots home-field advantage won't be as big this time around.
Beating the Book
We went 8-8 against the spread in Week 14, putting us at 100-99-9 on the year. We were right about the Patriots here last week, putting our record at 5-9 in this forum.
Bengals -8.5 at 49ers
I was originally going to go with the Jets here, but the line's smaller than I thought it would be, and I don't love the inexperienced Kellen Clemens facing Bill Belichick's defense. Not that the Pats' defense is particularly good, but Belichick has a very good track record against inexperienced quarterbacks. So we're switching it up and taking San Francisco - if we don't, who will? Besides the obvious value in backing a big home dog that the public will avoid like the plague, we expect the Niners to be able to run effectively on Cincinnati, and San Francisco's defense should hold up against a Bengals' offense that hasn't been clicking on all cylinders.
49ers 24 - 21
The full We could have taken just about anyone last week - all the favorites rolled, and Jacksonville was among them. This week we were sold on Tampa early, but are a bit wary now that Bobby Petrino's sorry act just left down. It wouldn't have been such a shock had Falcons owner Arthur Blank not just made a jackass out of himself on Monday Night Football, saying that he was even more impressed with Petrino than when he hired him after seeing Petrino deal with adversity. How preposterous! In any event, we don't like Cincinnati, obviously, and we've used most of the other big favorites, so it's between Minnesota and Tampa Bay. For now, we'll go with Tampa Bay, but we reserve the right to switch to Minnesota as we expect Atlanta to show Petrino up by playing a good game after he quit on them. Still, we give Tampa an 80 percent chance to win this game at home. The full article comes out on Thursday morning. Article first appeared 12/11/07
Surviving Week 15
